Star Trek TNG - The Big Goodbye

Originally aired: January 11th 1988

Ah, the first of many holodeck malfunction episodes. A Star Trek staple, though it's hard to remember what I would have thought of them back then when they were still fresh. It probably didn't take me too long to realise that quite often, these weren't sci fi episodes at all but bored writers desperate to write a different kind of story. The Big Goodbye doesn't quite fall into that trap. By being the episode that first focuses on the technology, and introduces it to the audience properly after it's brief display in the pilot, it at least has one science fiction concept going for it. Other than that, it's pure pulp, detective goodness!

The Enterprise is off to meet with the Jarada, an insect hive species obsessed with protocol, and a race which the shows limited budget will never allow to be shown on screen. Still, not a bad idea to open an episode with - it reminds us that there are non-humanoids in the galaxy, though they can't afford to show them to us. Picard is busy being trained in how to pronounce the special greeting the Jarada require. I can only imagine that the aliens consider it terrible manners to rely on a Universal Translator to say hello. Troi suggests that he take a break from the stress of preparing for the meeting by going to the holodeck. Seems to make sense, but I'd be shocked if he's still so eager after his third holodeck malfunction.

He loads and runs a program called Dixon Hill, set in San Francisco during 1941. Seems he fancies some wartime pulp detective fiction. Unlike later episodes he hasn't gotten into costume before engaging the program. The holograms accept him as Dixon Hill but remark on his clothes right away. Seems to me that the program should be configurable to accept the player as he is even if he doesn't get in costume. Picard didn't even think of it - it must be his first visit to this program, and I guess it explains why he always gets dressed up beforehand in future. You win this round, Continuity!

Typical of pulp fiction private dick stories, there's a dame waiting in his office, and the camera totally gives into the cliché and focuses right on her legs. She too remarks on his clothes, mentioning Halloween. Picard seems confused. Does he not know what Halloween is? Do they not have it in the 24th Century? That must suck. Anyway, back to the plot exposition - seems someone is trying to kill this woman. Dun dun dun!

After the credits, we open with a shot of the ship to remind us this is Star Trek as Picard brings latecomers up to speed with the plot. The dame suspects practically her entire family and/or lovers of wanting her dead before she suggests that it's Cyrus Redblock. Which means that it pretty much must be him. She stuffs a hundred bucks into Picard's uniform to secure his services before leaving. Throwing around that kinda money during the war? There's something fishy about this woman.

Left alone for a moment, Picard marvels at the simulation watching stock footage of cars on the street before leaving the holodeck - presumably to get changed into appropriate costume. As he leaves, a suspicious character enters his office and seems stunned not to find Dixon Hill there. Apparently Picard is leaving the program running while he gets changed. Oh - wait, no he's not. From the outside, he saves and quits the program.

Later, in the briefing room he's gushing at the command staff about how awesome the holodeck simulation was. Data helps by explaining 20th century terms and technology. Like "automobile", which is totally understandable for the crew to not know as they either have something radically different in the future or they just transport everywhere. But when Picard is trying to explain the view from the window, Data has to help with the term "city block" which none of the Earth born crew know because apparently they're all too fucking stupid to live. I guarantee you cities in the future of Star Trek still have city blocks. Idiots. Nonetheless, they are all in awe of his description, especially Beverly Crusher who helps wipe the holodeck dame's lipstick off Picard's face. Riker is especially amused at that.

Picard invites Crusher to the holodeck with him next time, as well as inviting a 20th Century historian they have aboard along. The episode then remembers to remind us what they crew are actually doing as they talk about the Jarada and the consequences of pissing them off, despite Troi's attempts to prevent them from stressing out Picard. Wow - she's actually doing her job. Picard gets bummed out and ends the meeting. Data and Geordi discuss Dixon Hill and Data goes to do some research on the character and manage to avoid doing it as part of a As You Know speech. Data reads all the computer's info on Dixon Hill in no time at all - presumably so he can goof around trying to be in-character on the holodeck. It's Chekov's Wikipedia!

Picard and the ship's "fiction expert" are at the holodeck. Picard called him a historian earlier - now he's a fiction expert. I guess he could be both. They're all in costume this time. Data turns up in a suit as well, having done his homework. The holodeck entrance dumps them on a street and they wander in gaping at things like idiots. I gotta say that the special effects for inserting the holodeck exit into the street scene are really well done for the time. You could do better today with a desktop computer, but it's really impressive how good it looked 23 years ago. Picard tries his best to fit in as Dixon Hill, and bums a newspaper from a street vendor to marvel at the accuracy of the paper's headlines. One of the headlines about baseball places this about June 25th, 1941 apparently. Data comments on the news, mentioning a baseball player and team in 2026 - which will be later picked up by Deep Space 9 as Sisko's favourite player. I never realised that DS9 was playing the continuity card with that one.

Picard explains away Data's odd look and behaviour as being from South America. The news paper vendor snarks about Data's "nice tan". Clearly, the computer isn't simulating any gullible holographic fool here. Picard sees that the dame from his office is reported dead in the paper. That's freaking awesome - he must have the game on hard mode or something. His first case and she's dead in the time it took him to go home and get changed. Still - free hundred bucks, right? Some cops stroll up and arrest "Dixon" for murder of the dame. Apparently because she had Dixon's business card in her purse. Nice circumstantial evidence you got there boys.

Back on the ship, the Enterprise takes a knock from a highly energetic probe, followed by a message from the Jarada demanding that Picard greet them as agreed. The Jarada refuse to send video signal because Picard is not there and because the budget can't afford it. Riker sends Geordi to go get the Captain. Crusher finally gets to the holodeck - guess even in the future it takes women longer to get ready when going out. And woo! We have the first malfunction as the door almost doesn't let her enter. She finds herself in the police precinct where they are holding "Dixon". Data greets her by talking to her like a terribly clichéd gangster. She finds it thrilling, and pissed off that she's not suspected of murder too. And in the back of the station, Picard can't help break character to comment about how awesome the program is. Meanwhile, Geordi is outside reporting to bridge that they're completely cut off from the holodeck. Hands up who didn't see that coming? It's a miracle any Federation shop gets anything done when crew members are always getting stuck in the holodeck.

Riker heads down the the holodeck, but is persuaded to take Wesley with him when Troi reminds him that Wes's mother is missing too. She's not missing Troi - you know exactly where she is! Picard is still pleading innocence during his interrogation, but starts to lose his patience with the program and tries to leave. The cops are clearly doing good cop, bad cop. Beverly is busy trying to imitate a holographic woman in the police station applying her makeup, and manages to accidentally get asked out by a hologram. Outside the holodeck, Wes immediately starts to mess with holodeck controls as he and Geordi get stuck in on the repairs. This episode is starting to get boring, but at least when Picard is released the plot might finally get moving. It seems he plans to get back to the ship - maybe when he discovers that he can't something exciting might happen. When he gets out into the station lobby, the others are just milling around. Worst gamers ever. You would have thought that while Picard was playing Dixon the others would have gotten engaged with the plot too. Maybe demanded to get him out, hired a lawyer or even pretended to be his lawyer. Even searching for evidence to clear his name. It's not like a tabletop RPG where the GM is tied up playing the interrogation scenes so the rest of the party have to spin their wheels. The holodeck should be able to GM for everyone simultaneously.

Still, Picard finds some time to flirt with Beverly before they head back to Dixon's office to leave the holodeck. Crusher seems pissed that Data and fiction guy are tagging along, but it doesn't matter because clichéd suspicious guy is waiting in the office when they get there. They try to brush him off, but he pulls a gun on them. Suspicious guy - AKA Leech - is pissed that "Dixon" hasn't found what he hired him to find. Picard tries to get rid of him, but fiction guy finally gets in character and tries to get Leech to back off. He gets shot for his troubles. Beverly claps at this, thoroughly enjoying the mortal injury her crew member just took. Way to go, Doctor. It seems that the safety is off, and the crew can actually get hurt in the holodeck. I have to wonder what would have happened if the safety was on. Obviously, fiction guy wouldn't have gotten hurt, but how would Leech have reacted at his apparent invulnerability? Or would Leech just not have fired the gun in the first place? I suspect I've already put twice as much thought into this than any of the Trek writers so I'll just let it go.

Crusher realises that the wound is life threatening and wants to get him to sickbay. Picard hits Leech and sends him packing, and then calls for the exit which fails to appear. None of the exits will appear, and the severity of the situation finally sinks in. Outside, the ship has arrived at the Jaradan world but repairs are still going slowly. Inside, the gang don't really know what to do and bumble around trying to help Beverly treat the gunshot when Cyrus Redblock himself shows up to act all threatening, looking for whatever it was that Leech was looking for earlier. Redblock allows Leech to smack "Dixon" in the face, quoting Netwon's 3rd Law of motion. Which makes sense as Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. The good cop from earlier picks the worst time possible to drop by for a social call and gets a gun stuck in his face.

Data draws attention to himself and Redblock is fascinated with him. Like the newspaper vendor earlier, the South America line doesn't work with Redblock, especially as Redblock claims to be quite well travelled. Picard gives in and tells them that he and his friends are from a fantastic futuristic world. Given that all the holograms present are programmed to accept him as Dixon Hill, none of them believe this rubbish. Picard keeps at it. The cop and the Redblock's minions are kinda freaked out by the nonsense being thrown at them, but Redblock just runs with it offering to test this theory by killing one of Picard's gang. Redblock gets things back on topic by ordering Leech to shoot Beverly since Picard still says they don't have the item he's looking for. Picard sees no other choice but to play along and says he has the item. Just as I'm wondering what the hell Picard is going to do in five minutes when he has nothing to give Redblock, Redblock is marvelling at "Dixon's" recklessness - apparently waiting until the last moment before Beverly was to be shot, testing Redblock's resolve to go through with it. Picard has Redblock make Leech back down for now and then gets Redblock to agree to help to save the wounded man in return for the mysterious item. We're not going to find out what the fuck this item is, are we?

On the bridge, Riker tries to stall the Jarada again but they refuse to talk to anyone but the Captain. The repair crew think they have a solution to the problem but are worried that if they fuck up, the holodeck will shut down and de-materialise the crew as well as the program. While that sounds a bit odd, given that when we've seen the holodeck turn off it always just leaves the crew on the bare grid of the room I think it works. Some of the stuff on the holodeck must be replicated matter. If it system shuts down incorrectly it might de-materialise the crew along with the props. For once, the holodeck technobabble works for me. This is also the reason that if I lived on the Enterprise, I'd be always absolutely certain I was standing back from the replicator when I stick my dirty dishes in it after dinner and turn it on. I'd be terrified it would de-materialise my hands by accident. Riker gives Wes the go ahead to try his fix.

Back in the holodeck, Picard is trying to get Redblock to let them try to fix the computer to allow them to get the wounded guy to sickbay. Redblock hasn't got a clue what they're talking about. But it doesn't matter as Wes's tinkering with the system alters the program around them to a blizzard somewhere in Antarctic-like conditions. Despite their best efforts, there's a bit of a jump as the actors are all in slightly different positions on the snow covered sound-stage than they were in the office set. Good effort though - it's almost unnoticeable. The difference is a bit more noticeable a few seconds later when they pop back into the office, and the exit opens. Redblock finally believes them, and wonders if people can return from Picard's world. Picard says that if they are allowed to leave, they'll return with the item. I guess he's playing it safe - he doesn't know if the whole system is fixed. Just because the doors are open doesn't mean that the safety is working again.

Redblock doesn't fall for it, but despite Data's warning that Redblock cannot use the exit, Cyrus is determined to try. He orders his flunky to kill everyone after he and Leech leave, and the head for the Enterprise corridor looking for a whole new world. For some bizarre reason they make it out the door and around the corner marvelling at all they see before they start to fade out from the feet up. That doesn't make any sense, but whatever. Data beats up the remaining flunky and then gets the wounded crewman to sickbay with Beverly. Picard stays to say goodbye to the cop, who manages to get a Title Drop into the conversation. He inevitably brings up the question of what'll happen to the simulation when Picard leaves. The hologram is worried about his holographic wife and kids. Fine programming, if a simulated 1940s cop can deal with concepts like the true nature of his existence and the implications of that. Computer programming has come pretty far in the 24th Century from the days of internet chat bots alternating between parroting mangled versions of what you say to them back at you and stating that they don't understand you. Picard doesn't have an answer for him, but wishes him farewell before leaving and the program shuts down.

Picard gets to the bridge and greets the Jarada, apparently getting it right and receiving a round of applause from the bridge crew. When asked about his trip to 1940s San Francisco, Picard replies with a fairly clever line - "It was a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to die there." When Geordi asks Data what it was like, Data gets two sentences into a terrible opening to a pulp detective novel before Picard shuts him up, and orders the ship out of orbit. Apparently, the Federation really, really, REALLY cares about negotiations with the Jarada because they seem to have ordered their flagship vessel all the way to Jaradan space just to speak with the Jarada for literally 60 seconds before leaving. Jesus Christ. If I was Picard, I'd have told Starfleet to shove the mission up their ass, and just send a goddamn diplomatic vessel.

Overall, not a bad episode. It completely avoids being science fiction until right at the very end. Up until then it's a vague mix of detective story - without any actual detecting mind you - and generic "crew in danger" stuff. It still adds up to more than the sum of its parts though, even if the show leaves it to some future episode to deal with the concept of a hologram really coming to term with his unreal nature which it will do far better with the hologram of Sherlock Holmes' nemesis Moriarty some day.

Next: Datalore. The show gives Brent Spiner the first real chance to stretch his acting muscles as he plays Data's evil twin brother. Such a goofy stereotypical story should never have worked, but they did make something enjoyable out of it.